That Cabinet Doctor Should Not Be Practicing Medicine

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a movie where a doctor puts his business in a cabinet and everybody acts surprised when the cabinet gets weird.

I wrote this after the movie, so some is remembering and some is me being correct later.

I am not a doctor. I am not a cabinet. That gives me neutral eyes.

A cabinet is for coats, dishes, or cereal you forgot you bought. It is not for medical work. Dr. Caligari ignores this and puts a sleep man in there like leftovers.

Then bad things happen. Of course. If you keep a person in furniture, the furniture starts thinking it has a degree.

The movie looks bent. The walls lean. The streets lean. The people look like sleep did taxes on them. Critics call this expressionism. Chud calls it what happens when nobody owns a level. I kept this in my notes twice, once spelled different.

Caligari shows the sleepwalker at a fair. That is also wrong. Medical furniture should not be next to snacks and guessing games. You can't diagnose a man between a balloon and a sausage stand. I checked inside myself and it feels true. This is where I started getting mad at the prop department.

The sleepwalker is blamed for much, but I blame the cabinet. It stands there upright, silent, collecting authority. That is how institutions start.

Someone should've asked for paperwork. What is the cabinet's license number. When was it cleaned. Does it open from inside. Are there snacks. Nobody asks because old movies are full of hats, and hats distract people.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari has one lesson. If your doctor arrives with furniture, leave. If your furniture arrives with a doctor, leave faster. If both are at a fair, buy nothing and report the hinges.

I checked my notes and they do not get better.