Obsession Made Me Think Love Has Bad Customer Service

Obsession is about a toy that should not have a phone number.

I was eating during some parts, but I got the important wrong part.

Bear breaks the One Wish Willow and wishes for Nikki to love him more than anyone. Then bad things happen because of course they do. If you ask a toy to handle romance, the toy will use toy rules. Toy rules are little and mean.

The movie wants me to think about desire. I did that for four seconds and got tired. The larger problem is customer service. Once feelings have customer service, society is over or at least on hold.

Chud has called customer service. You say my internet is gone and they say have you tried respecting the router. Now imagine calling because love got too much on you. The person on the line is named Carter probably and he says can you verify the wish. Terrible.

The One Wish Willow is not a monkey paw. It is a feelings printer with no return slot. You break it, say something stupid, and suddenly the universe treats you like you clicked agree. This is where I started getting mad at the prop department.

People in the movie should not be dating or wishing. They should be reading the toy's warranty, except there probably is not one because the toy is evil and knows lawyers fear wood. The movie did not say this directly, which is one of its problems.

Nikki becomes intense. Bear becomes sorry. That is normal when a man shops in a mystery store instead of buying flowers from a place with lights.

I did like how the movie understands one thing: getting exactly what you asked for is usually the worst version of shopping. But it misses my fix. Disconnect the toy hotline. Put every One Wish Willow in rice. Make love use email only between 9 and 3.

Final Chud law: if your crush requires a supernatural support ticket, close the case and eat soup alone.

This is why I should be allowed at press screenings earlier.