Plan 9 From Outer Space Is Mostly a Parking Problem

Plan 9 from Outer Space is called bad by many people, but those people do not understand parking.

I wrote this after the movie, so some is remembering and some is me being correct later.

The aliens show up near a cemetery. Cemeteries are already hard to park at because everybody is sad and driving weird. Then a saucer comes in. No painted lines. No attendant. No little ticket machine. Of course society collapses.

People say the aliens raise the dead. I say they are trying to find overflow parking and hit the wrong button.

That is how plans go. Plan 1 was probably circle the cemetery. Plan 2 was ask the old man. Plan 3 through 8 got lost in committee. Plan 9 is when somebody says fine, wake up the dead and see if they know a spot.

The movie has police and pilots and grave people. None of them ask the alien where the vehicle is permitted to stand. That is why Earth keeps getting invaded in pictures. We are soft on parking enforcement from above. This is where I started getting mad at the prop department.

The saucers wobble, yes. That is because they are looking for a loading zone. A confident spaceship flies straight. A nervous spaceship says maybe here, no, maybe here, actually is this compact only. The movie did not say this directly, which is one of its problems.

I respect the dead in this movie because at least they get up and try to help. More than the city does.

The real villain is not the alien commander. It is unclear curb policy. If the cemetery had a sign saying SAUCERS 15 MINUTES WITH FLASHERS, the dead could have stayed down and everybody saves time.

Plan 9 teaches us the universe is big but parking is bigger. Remember that before you judge space men for making a zombie.

I checked my notes and they do not get better.